Daily antics of an ego maniac

I'm sitting at work and the big boss man says, "come see me."

Immediately, i tense up, get that sick stomach feeling (you know the one I'm talking about.... butterflies deep down, ya might hurl, and heart palpitations. Yup, that one)....
My hands are sweaty, knees are weak, mom's spaghetti.... oh, wait - channeling Eminem for a minute.... haha.
Seriously, i got all kinda of twisted up over it. My head started playing every possible situation he'd want to see me about. I've only worked here since March of 2015, but my head went ALL THE WAY TO KINDERGARTEN.
Why? Self-absorbed, ego-driven, thoughts about 'me, me, me'.... that's why. Pure and simple. I waited for what seemed like an eternity to discuss this pressing matter  (probably 13 minutes in reality. Ok, maybe more like an hour, but really, not very long in the grand scheme of things) worried about M.E.

What did I do wrong? What did I say? What's gonna happen to me?

Ewww gross.....

Turns out, (slightly ashamed to admit this- no, really ashamed)
It.had.nothing.to.do.with.me.
Not at all. Not one little bit. He was actually looking out for me in another matter all together.

So, upon reflection (remember folks, don't do that without supervision), i learned to breathe, pray, shutup, and be still and know that He is God. (Not the big boss man, but, yeah you know what i mean).
I was so ready to run head first into a wall and he was simply looking out for me.... jeez, i can be so dramatic sometimes.

God is everything or He is nothing, what is your choice to be? No third option here.... I'll take door Numero uno, kind sir. Thank you.

What a relief I don't have to speak or react to the first thought in my head these days.

Here I Am Again....

Yes, i really sang the song in my head when i typed the title.... hahahaha.

Gonna start this blogging thing again... see if I can get this ramblings [on proverbial paper] out into the world, for your amusement, enjoyment, or just to clear up some much needed space. And, hey, it beats doing homework. 😉

Man oh man, the years have passed so quickly.... "the years" being the last four.... count four.... uno, dos, tres, quatro.
Seems like yesterday i took this single little, tiny, microscopic step into the lane of possibilities - and here I am, living a life of abundance.

Abundance of everything. Well, excluding money (anyone know where i can find that "lane o' possibility"??)
But, seriously, the quality of my problems has most definitely improved. I was reflecting (i don't recommend doing any type of relection unless you're in fit spiritual condition b.t.dubs) the other day about posts I'd put on... (insert *gasp* here) myspace and facebook when I was part of the social network gang. Filled with angst, animosity, and downright cynicism. Not all of them; few and far between there would be a funny something or other thrown in, but it wasn't common practice, that's for sure. And tonight, as I embark, once again, on my blogging adventure, I'm filled with gratitude, happiness, love, patience (most of the time) and laughter. I have seen more of these qualities, not only in myself, but in others AND my kids over the last four years then the previous 31 years combined.

Why, you ask.... ? Funny you should bring that up.... i was m.i.s.e.r.a.b.l.e. without a clue as to why.

Great news!!! The ick, my friends, has cleared away and made room for the good and the beautiful and the serenity. (Sounds like a soap opera title..... hahahah.... watch out Days of Our Lives, I'm taking over 😑... right after I get some sleep)

So, with that, i bid you adieu, this lovely evening and wish you a great Thursday.